Where is god? Why prayers may not be answered

Where is god? Is he hiding? Is he really our friend? Or, is he mainly our teacher? Does he reside ‘somewhere’? Is god here yet somewhere else at the same time? Is god a computer? Is he the programmer of all? What and who is god? Do we all live within an illusion created by god himself? Is this world not real, but merely a simulation? These are questions that haven’t been answered or that actually may not have an answer.

Doesn’t it seem like god is ‘somewhere’ else outside of all this we experience? Is he in some ‘other’ place or dimension we are not allowed to go to? Is he somewhere outside of  ‘all this’ we live in? Is he sitting up there in the clouds looking down marveling at his fantastic creations we call heaven and earth?

Can we see him with these eyes of ours? Or, are there 'different' eyes which only can see him? And, how would we get those 'eyes'?

I have often wondered where god is, especially when I was having trouble in my life. I, at times, felt abandoned. My prayers weren’t answered. I wondered if anything mattered. I felt so alone because I felt I was left to fend for myself. I didn’t feel god cared.

I prayed for direction in my confusion receiving none. I felt mankind and god above had deserted me forever. Then, I decided to ‘seclude’ myself from the world and become a ‘solitary hermit’ for quite some years.

Unfortunately for me, all hiding from the world at large did for me was rust my weakened social skills even further. Alone, I did not grow. I ‘regressed’. People said it seemed I had ‘short circuited’. I may have had a so-called ‘nervous breakdown.’ I then knew what ‘no man is an island’ really meant.

I have often wondered ‘the way’ to communicate best with god and receive answers and help I needed. Words were made by us, not by god. So, is there a certain way other than words to use to talk with him?

I wonder. While many seem to do just fine handling their dilemmas in life, others who are the very sensitive ones like I was don’t seem to fare very well in life at all. So, what does one do? Sometimes I think god wants us to ‘toughen up.’ And, his way may be in leaving us alone.

This could be. Although, we can never know what’s in god’s mind, can we? Many have trouble understanding and sorting out what’s in their own minds. Through my own experience with prayer, I think what message works with god are sincere unselfish requests, not sincere selfish prayers.

I have prayed when it was life and death and although I could never prove it, I believe I received what I had asked for. But, my prayers were for another’s welfare. I think god listens to heartfelt feelings related to ones own pain and grief. Yet, on the other hand, he must also be delighted when he sees us happy and joyful.

I have been saved from certain death many times in my life only to go through even more trials and tribulations later. I have also saved a life. This was due to my own life saved earlier in life. They would have surely died if my own life hadn’t been previously saved.

Although, my life in the past had seemed to me to be harder on me than what others had experienced, I now see clearly mine was not uniquely difficult.

I look around and see there are those who have suffered long through far more than I ever had or will and they have come out of it very well. I also see those who have not come out of their struggles. Now, I count myself lucky, as I look around at all the turmoil and death in the world. Someday, we must face and experience our ultimate challenge: our own demise, alone.

A better question to ask instead of ‘where is god’ might be who is god and how do I receive strength, answers, solutions and guidance with my problems when I need it? My answer would be, to keep praying and learn to meditate. If we are sincere about becoming a ‘better person’, then life will work its way transforming us in time into that person.

I believe prayer and meditation are similar to one another. I don’t think growth can be intellectual or mechanically learned. It has to do with change at our ‘being level’. This is when we become less and less selfish, more compassionate sincerely caring about others and the world around us.

We might as well learn and accept there is no escape from this life, except by death. In other words; drugs, alcohol, food and any other mental or physical diversion is only a temporary escape from what we don’t want to face.

No man desires pain, so we logically may run from it and not toward it. We want good feelings, but these will not change us. We would always want to ‘feel good’ and never change. Why would we?

It’s better dealing with matters at hand instead of not. If we ‘put off’ what we know we should handle now, it will persist and haunt us. In itself, fear may only be a paper tiger. Bravery or courage is that ‘stuff’ which ultimately makes us grow, bringing small changes in degrees to our old nature.

Where is god? I am sure he is where he’s always been. He is one who never changes. Changing ‘who we are’ and bettering ourselves is work which is up to us. Only we can change us, if that’s what we desire doing.


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